Giving feedback can feel uncomfortable. A lot of feedback conversations end up becoming a bit of a debate, losing sight of the purpose of the feedback altogether. In order to avoid this, the key is to make sure that all facts are conveyed simply to the other party, followed by a more balanced discussion during which both parties share their viewpoints.
As such, feedback should be viewed as a way of encouraging people to discover the unwanted or suboptimal behaviour and determine what needs to be changed. The following example ensures you deliver your core feedback message succinctly to focus on the issue at hand and what to do about it:
1. "When you..."
Example: "When you are late for team meetings...".
2. "I feel..."
Example: "I feel frustrated..."
3. "Because I..."
Example: "...because I think it's wasting the time of all the other team members and we're never able to get through the agenda items."
Pause for discussion...
4. "I would like..."
Example: "I would like you to consider finding some way of planning your schedule that lets you get to these team meetings on time...."
Example: "Because that way, we can be more productive at the team meetings and we can all keep to our tight schedules."
Remember to summarise everything that was discussed to avoid any misunderstandings. This helps ensure that the constructive feedback was communicated efficiently.